Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Nickelback

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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George W. Bush

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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