Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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