When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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