A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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Chlamydia

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Justin with a hat.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Dead girls can't say no.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops