What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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whats white jizz

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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