- Anti Joke

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why are white people white? I don't know

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Sarah Palin's political campaign

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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