"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Julian Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

24

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops