A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops