what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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call me maybe.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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