Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down -8

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops