What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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were you expecting a joke

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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