Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -22

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops