Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Hail Hitler

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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penis. nuff said.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops