Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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THe Election

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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