An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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