What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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