Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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360 NO SCOPE

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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boobs!

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops