Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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