Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...