How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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womens rights

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops