Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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