How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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I love alchohol!

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Tilt your screen back .

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops