What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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anus

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Guest what in the butt

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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