Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Women's rights

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why am I writing this...im bored

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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baloney sandwich

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops