anus

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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knock knock come in !

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops