Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops