Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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T u r n i p s

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops