Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops