Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops