While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Well this is pointless.....

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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