What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What comes after 69? 70

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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I went to work today....

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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HELLO EVERYONE

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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