Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops