Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +26

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

asdasdasdasd

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +26

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops