What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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The New York Giants

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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