You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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j.p. is dumb

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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