how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops