If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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women's rights

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops