Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This is an anti- joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -9

People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops