A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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This is an anti- joke

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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