A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Lil Wayne

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How come anti jokes r funny

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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a man makes a bad joke

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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