Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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