what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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