what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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