What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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