How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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Christ is a conspiracy

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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