What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Misner is a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops