What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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