What is better than life? Nothing.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Homo say what?

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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