i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

Guest what? Dog

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

Horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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