why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops