Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

thumb_up thumb_down -19

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red turtles are random. cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops